Another Four Words
by Chezza
Summary: Carter's thoughts after 'Full Circle'


ANOTHER FOUR WORDS  
  
By CeCe Smith  
  
Brief Summary: Carter's thought after 'Full Circle'  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Season: Six  
  
Spoilers: Season Finale-'Full Circle'  
  
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double   
  
Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions---wish I could have just an itty-bitty piece, but am forced to be   
  
satisfied as a spectator.  
  
*********************************  
  
" Abydos is gone, sir."   
  
Those four simple kept resounding in my head. So different to the four words that had   
  
been running round it earlier. The Colonel spoke them without emotion, even though he   
  
tried to hide it, I could read the expression on his face. He is grieving. We all are, each in   
  
our own way. Grieving for all those we could not save and the promises we failed to   
  
keep. All of the SGC has felt the loss.. Not only did we lose our beloved Abydos - the   
  
place where this whole adventure began - but we also lost a valuable chance to cripple   
  
Anubis. Who – as an added kick in the teeth - was now more powerful than ever before.   
  
All thanks to us!  
  
Sitting here alone in the locker room, I try not to think about what might have happened   
  
to Daniel. He seemed so distant towards us in the pyramid. Daniel wanted to save   
  
Abydos, but could not intervene for himself. He asked for our help well, the Colonel's   
  
help anyway. So we went. Because it was *Daniel*. But when we got there, he didn't   
  
welcome us. He didn't even *appear* until the Colonel forced him. In fact he pretty   
  
much ignored us and maybe I'm just being paranoid, but it seemed like he dissed me in   
  
particular.  
  
Why couldn't he have just said something personal? Anything would have been better   
  
that getting the cold shoulder from him of all people. I could understand the Colonel's   
  
frustration with Daniel's lack of help - I felt it too. Maybe not for all of the same reasons,   
  
but I was definitely annoyed at the cool reception I received from him. He had been   
  
'dead' for nearly a year! I didn't really know if the whole 'ascension' thing actually   
  
worked. He had spoken to both Teal'c and the Colonel, but not to me. You'd think he   
  
could have at least let me know he was 'alive'. Perhaps it was his way of preparing us   
  
for what would happen or maybe he knew "the others" would not let him take down   
  
Anubis. But still…a year of absence and all I get is 'Hi Sam'?   
  
Daniel completely ignored me! Why would he not want to see me? I wanted to see him.   
  
It had been almost a year. A very rough year to be precise, and I don't mean to whine,   
  
but life hasn't been so 'peachy' for me either. Did he think I didn't need him? Why no   
  
visit from our neighborhood friendly ghost? Was my near-death experience not good   
  
enough for a simple, "hang in there, Sam"? I guess not. Daniel was always like a brother   
  
to me. I always thought he'd be there for me when I needed him and I had needed to hear   
  
those four words from Daniel. I needed him there for me.   
  
Now, I will admit that Teal'c and Colonel O'Neill both had very tragic situations that no   
  
one should go thru alone. That doesn't mean that I don't think Daniel should have visited   
  
them. No, by all means, they needed a friend, but dammit! I needed one, too. I mean   
  
Nirti almost 'melted' me!, Whilst that's not quite as bad as Teal'c nearly dying over   
  
three days and the kind of year the Colonel has had…Oh God, the Colonel…where do I   
  
begin?   
  
First, he nearly dies in Antarctica. Again. He is then coerced - by *me*- to be implanted   
  
with a symbiote. Why? Because I couldn't bear to lose him. Then – and this is the real   
  
good part – as if making him live his worst nightmare wasn't bad enough, it turns out to   
  
be a Tok'ra on a suicide mission, no less. Recovering from Baal's sarcophagus was no   
  
picnic for anyone, as Janet's staff will attest. Oh, let's not forget his month-long   
  
'vacation' with Harry Maybourne; that alone would do me in for sure.   
  
So it seems somewhat fitting to be sitting here, in this place, where not long ago I – yep   
  
that's right, little miss tough cookie Samantha Carter herself - broke down and admitted   
  
to Teal'c and myself how much things have changed since Daniel left us. Seeing his   
  
empty locker with its nameplate gone makes it seem all the more real somehow. I didn't   
  
realize just how much I needed him and now he is gone again. Could that be why he   
  
didn't appear to me, because I never told him what he meant to me? Did he not hear what   
  
I said before we – lost him – the first time?   
  
Or maybe it was something I said or maybe what I didn't say when he ascended? Did I   
  
do this to myself, by not letting anyone get too close? Is that why he chose not to appear   
  
to me in my time of need? I guess that I'll never know for sure. Well, not unless he   
  
comes back from the 'dead' again. Yeah, right. How likely is *that* to happen? 


End file.
